A collection of funny baby quotes and sayings that will make you smile. Many of us who have had babies can relate to the expressions and opinions in these quotes. So if you need a smile read our collection and remember no matter what situation you are facing it is better to smile.

Baby Quotes

1. A baby’s a full time job for three adults. Nobody tells you that when you’re pregnant, or you’d probably jump off a bridge. Nobody tells you how all consuming it is to be a mother how reading goes out the window and thinking too.

2. A baby is a blank cheque made payable to the human race.

3. Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last.

4. Making the decision to have a child–It’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

5. If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

6. I don’t know why they say “you have a baby.” The baby has you.

6. Parenthood: The state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage.

8. Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now, I have six children and no theories.

8. A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.

10. You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

11. A baby’s an inestimable blessing and bother.

12. Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.

13. A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.

14. If your baby’s “beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time,” you’re the grandma.

15. People who say they sleep like babies usually don’t have them.

16. Human beings are the only creatures on Earth that allow their children to come back home.

17. A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

18. There are only two things a child will share willingly – communicable diseases and his mother’s age.

19. It sometimes happens, even in the best of families, that a baby is born. This is not necessarily cause for alarm. The important thing is to keep your wits about you and borrow some money.

20. The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing.

21. A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest.

22. Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.

23. A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.

24. The hardest job facing kids today is learning good manners without seeing any.

25. I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

26. Small children disturb your sleep, big children your life.